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The current period signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” hit the public consciousness. Initially, the idea that someone could abruptly cease contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, finding a significant other has only become more confounding – an oftentimes pointless exercise in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media slang.

Zoomers, a demographic who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread challenge on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their millennial predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic lexicon has grown more extensive and more deranged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a comprehensive glossary to the terms Zoomers is using to talk about romance, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the recent most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of gen Z, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your true, raw self. You'll need it with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is inquisitive or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding enigma and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means going for someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A date where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do budget-friendly dating in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes couples who opt out of having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of playing it cool: embracing dialogue, transparency and openness.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks indicating a potential partner is trouble. For instance calling their exes crazy, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks validate your decision to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things builds closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any sense of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy authentic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {