My Single Change That Worked: The Way I Overcame After-Work Tension Via an Unexpected Discovery in the Loft

I often feel as tense as a wound-up clock after work. My shoulders grow tense, my breath turns fast and shallow. Usually, the sound of my laptop lid slamming shut used to lead to the squeak of a cork pulled from a bottle of red, wine poured quickly into a glass, that first mouthful putting a much-needed full stop on the working day.

Then, a few months ago, I discovered my now-adult son’s old school recorder up in the loft. Curious, I blew into it, instantly reminded of the time when it drove me crazy – his daily rehearsals felt like an attack on my ears, the piercing shriek still reverberating through my head long after he slept.

Instead of throwing it away, I brought it downstairs, together with a beginner’s songbook. Growing up, I had no musical talent whatsoever. I took recorder classes in primary school, yet never got to try other instruments.

Googling “how to play the recorder”, I watched dozens of YouTube videos aimed at children, and got a fingering guide on paper. Looking up simple recorder songs, and was thrilled when I managed to knock out a passable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Admittedly, it was something your average five-year-old could master before first break, yet for a stressed, impatient, musically-challenged adult, it felt like a huge achievement.

My son questioned my actions (and please could I stop), but I persevered – I enjoyed the sensation the recorder gave me. Forgetting notes easily forced me to focus on the music sheet, and carefully mimic the finger placements. My breathing slowed down, my attention sharpened, and after nailing that initial shaky melody, I felt euphoric. I had managed to play music.

Now, several months later, I can “play” other nursery rhymes and a decent Ode to Joy. Sure, my rhythm is off, and I must jot down note names, but to me, it’s not about being skilled or a “musician” – it’s purely about the joy it provides and the fact I can’t think of anything else when I am playing.

I learned that few kids play the recorder today, which was no doubt music to parents’ ears, yet it made me wistful for my school years, as well as my son’s.

I try to pick up my recorder every evening after work as my first activity, and in those 20 or so minutes, I am in my own little world. And afterwards, I feel refreshed and happy.

My friends think it’s hilarious, but one very wise therapist friend told me I was not only lowering my stress levels, but improving my cognitive skills, like memory and sound processing, which is precious at my age. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s a real “ode to joy” indeed.